sqa exam results

i actually got them last night at midnight but yeah
i thought i done better but still it could’ve been worse:

english-B (WTF i was amazing at english :S)
maths-B (i was surprised because that was a solid exam)
chemistry-A :D
physics-B (this was actually one of my easier exams as well :/)
computing-A 

hong kong

well it’s been anout a month late but i still want to blog about my time in HK

it was really nice, the entire trip ^^ it helped with a lot of things.
i saw my grandad buried away for the last time in this tombstone place. but everytime i go to hk, i’ll be sure to umm visit it? idk what you’re supposed to do.

but yeah, idk why but a lot of family are like a little scared since my grandad passed away. everyone’s superstitious but i mean, even if you do believe in ghosts, why would my grandad ever haunt us? xD
i truly love my grandad & i miss him so much.

anyway on a lighter note, in HK, i got to see my cousin (well one of my closest cousins) he’s like 13 now & he seemes so much more mature. like older than me xD maybe cos i’m childish. but yeah he’s amazing at piano & it does amaze me ^^ tbh it’s driven me to start learning myself. we did a lot together. i think i spent most of the time at his house. his dad(my uncle) is really rich so his house is really nice and all. but it does get a little boring there.

i also stayed at my other uncle’s appartment/flat but it’s right next to the shopping mall so i prefer it there. the mall is really giant & i just love going through it. umm yeah i didn’t much much tbh but i still spent like $5000 (hk dollars) mainly on food and souvenirs i think.

ermmm yeah i went out almost everyday & tbh it was really fun! the entire trip was amazing! i went to places like cool arcades & these malls filled with small shops that sell really neat things. i should’ve taken more photos but oh well >< 

how could i forget?! being in hk for almost a month, i realised most of the pop music was k-pop and it’s really popular in hk. i watched this drama called dream high where it’s all about a performing arts school & becoming a k-pop star! it was sooo good & i bought a few songs from the sound track xD

also got a korean haircut ;P it looked awesome but i couldn’t imitate it at all. maybe if i put in some time to try a few more times but i’m too lazy :/

well that’s all i can think of & tbh this is a rushed post because i’ve left it so late :/ until next time…

some things

i wanted to type this ealier but i was lazy

sorry for all the emo posts before but i was really upset but i’m better now
it’s still feels weird & i feel sad but it can’t be helped.

anyways i did a lot in HK including burying my grandad’s ashes at this graveyard place. it wasn’t that freaky tbh & it was just a little sad…
my grandad’s ashes was put in this jar thing (if your chinese, you’ll know) and sealed up behind bars… but the thing i didn’t like was that all the jars in the area were the same.
i mean, does that mean my grandad is no more important than those before him D: i mean sure he’s the most important to me… but it just gets me to think:
what if i’m someone not worth mentioning?

sometimes i wish i was really good at something, like really good. cos i’d say i’m very average, in terms of athletic abilities, musically & school-based. my “skills” are too widespread that i can’t focus on one thing… i just want to be someone that would be remembered as someone significant :/ even for going into uni or whatever, i don’t know what course i want to do b/c there’s nothing i like/hate in particular. i’m just so messed up!

i’m gonna have to postpone my blogging cos i’m lazy af

Dx

i’m back from HK

wow i’ve been away for like a whole month!

i have lots to write about & i think i’ll write it in parts…

but i have pokemon white 2 to play now so i’ll blog later… -.-

going to HK

i’m going to hong kong today…taking my grandad’s ashes to bury there.
i’m not feeling all that excited like normally.

gotta say goodbye to my tennis coach as well, i hope he’s there.
i’ll not see him again after this :( 

funeral

grandad…you’ve been gone for just under a week & i can’t believe it.
i’m really lost at the moment, i’m feeling a mix of emotions…sad, angry, regret, feeling of loss and so on.

today was the funeral & wow was it depressing af… quite a few people showed up but not too many. my mom, auntie & uncle each gave a very emotional speech/ words of respect. everyone was crying around me…but i managed to hold back any tears. i kinda blanked out, still feeling overwhelmed by this.

but i finally came to accept your death when i gave my final words to you. i didn’t have a speech prepared & it all came from my heart. i truely miss you & i don’t know what to do now. i usually just cry at night when no one can see me like that. since everyone’s worried about me… i can’t let people deal with more problems.

grandad you were really the best & i meant every word i said today. goodbye my grandad <3 i won’t ever get over this, but maybe we’ll somehow meet again…like in the afterlife?

grandad

so i finally got to see my grandad today… i still wished this was just a nightmare but it was reality. i saw him, laying in his coffin, lifeless and pale. everyone was crying, even my uncles who i’ve never seen crying before. but i didn’t cry… i don’t know why, maybe i just can’t.

i’ve cried so much since i found out he passed away & i’m completely devastated. i’ve not really talked to anyone since, i just want to be alone.  just looking at my grandad today emotionally scarred me. i can’t believe that he’s gone. i’m so sad.

even though everyone’s telling me to move on & act mature, i just can’t. i lost someone who i could always count on. i could talk to him whenever i felt sad, happy, angry, anything… i miss him so much but at least i got to see him one last time. i didn’t really say anything b/c i really don’t know what to say. i just said my goodbyes and smiled at him one last time. tears were flooding out but i tried to hold them in.

this really is goodbye…but grandad, i love you forever & i’ll never ever stop thinking about you. i’m sure we’ll meet again… rest in peace grandad <3

worst day ever

i had the worst day ever yesterday… it was supposed to be a happy day since all my exams were finished.

but no, i can’t put into words how sad it was. my grandad died. i feel hurt all over & i don’t feel like doing anything now. i can’t believe i’ll never see him again. i can’t believe he’s actually gone…

he meant so much to me & i don’t know how i’m ever going to get over this… i don’t think i can. i cried so much my eyes hurt but i can’t stop. i miss you grandad…come back 

sad…

my grandad is actually dying…i shouldn’t have found out but i did.

i think my mom etc tried to hide it from me until “after the exams”.
right now i’m just devastated. i don’t feel like talking or anything. just need to let it all out…